Why Renew Your Vows?

When you marry, you make a commitment, intending it to be for a lifetime. You have a set of goals and you start off in the same direction. You open your hearts to one another and you start your journey in a state of grace. When you renew your vows you re-establish this intention. You identify and set new goals, some of which enhance the originals. You also re-establish your state of grace, reopening your hearts and minds to create a new beginning of greater intimacy, intention, intensity and interaction. This assists you in moving forward in life, still facing the same direction.

People often renew their wedding vows, because it is a wonderful way to celebrate their anniversary, regardless of the number of years. Often vow renewals are held, after the birth of a child or recovery of traumatic event or illness, because of pending separation by distance or the call of military duty. Many husbands and wives wish to tenderly revisit their commitment to each other or possibly they had a "quickie" marriage some years before and the vows didn't hold much meaning and then there are the relationships where separation or problems were involved and the couple now has the time and desire to reconcile with a renewal ceremony.

It is recommended that this happen every three to five years. Ideally this would be an annual event. Just as any business reviews it's direction to continue it's success, so too does your marriage deserve the same attention. We know that health is easier to maintain than illness is to cure. Renewal is one step to maintaining a healthy marriage.

Some couples choose to re-enact as closely as possible what happened on their actual wedding day.  This is a type of re-affirmation a couple would say to one another.

Years Of Blessings ... Each Hour Is Precious With You ... Precious Memories ... Precious Moments To Remember ...Sharing The Gift Of ____ Precious Years ... _____ Years Heart To Heart ... looking back at a lifetime of love, and forward to many golden years....Thus, I kiss you three times (while saying "I love Thee", after each kiss.

Some couples believe that they have progressed in their relationship or that something has changed that makes them want to make this occasion something different from their wedding day. They choose to make new promises that express more appropriately their developed relationship now. Talk together about what you would like to express to each other and to your friends through your Renewal Of Vows ceremony (this discussion will increase the personal value of your ceremony.)

 If you choose to send out invitations, "Bride's All New Book of Etiquette," recommends the following wording: "The honor of your presence is requested at the reaffirmation of the wedding vows of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" etc. (the same as a wedding). Handwritten notes could be written for a less formal event. Reverend Dabney also issues a Special Renewal Certificate at the end of the ceremony if desired.

Have you thought of bridesmaids? If you decide on bridesmaids, choose dresses that could be reused. What is the ceremony like? The same as a wedding with the same or new vows, an outdoor wedding or indoor, quiet, traditional or wild and crazy! You can still wear your first dress or your mom's dress or a whole new look with any color you wish! What about the ring part? You can use your first rings or have new ones for the special occasion. Your kids can be a part of it, as ring bearer and flower girl, maid of honor, best man, etc. Your budget and formality will dictate selection of disc. jockey or band. Don't forget the photographer, flowers, and favors. Consider having a table set up at the reception with family photos, and mementos of your marriage.

            The Handfasting Renewal was the original Vow Renewal Ceremony. Hand-fasting is the old Celtic tradition of binding two people in love together (like matrimony). It was traditionally performed on May 1st (although any day that the couple wishes is fine too), and those who were handfasted renewed their vows if they chose to stay together and were accepted into their community as a new family, which is what our culture does upon the initial Wedding Ceremony

Example of Renewal of Vows Ceremony

Friends, welcome to the renewal of vows for ________ and ________.

Marriage is the form which you chose __________ years ago, to express and live your love relationship. Today you are here to renew your commitment to each other and to share with us the celebration of your love.

Robert Browning has written these lines: "Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be; the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in His hands who said, 'A whole I planned. Youth shows but half.' Trust God, see all, nor be afraid."

This is the beginning of a new start. Once again you have set your focus on the next phase of your learning of who you are, in the presence of one another. You are setting the direction that your life together will be taking.

Today you renew and acknowledge your greatest gifts, your love, your support and your caring for each other. Your partnership of the heart is reaffirmed, cherished and held in high esteem. We honor you for your ongoing commitment to your marriage and each other.   

Let us pray; Lord, we thank you for this couple and all that has led them to this day. As they renew their vows before You, assist them in living their promise every day. If dark shadows come their way, shine Your light upon them, so that they may carry out their commitment to one another. Be with them in every moment. Guide them to infinite love, total health, unlimited joy and perfect peace. We give thanks that it is done. Amen.

(Vows may be recited together or separately. Personal vows may be written and inserted here.)

"I commit myself, once again, to our life together, honoring your mind, your body and your spirit, as well as my own. I will continue to be your loving, reflective and faithful partner, from this day forward."

(Blessing of the rings - optional)-These rings are made of precious metal, symbolizing the love that you hold in your hearts right now. May they represent the perfect circle of love that is the foundation of your marriage.

"With this ring, I honor you as my mate and promise to continue to honor, love and cherish you as such.   I promised you once my love would grow and here I am again. I open my heart to you this day, my dear and trusted friend. Now I know your strengths and your weaknesses too. I choose gladly to spend my life with you."

May this ceremony today bring you even closer to each other (and to your children). May this open new doors and allow new avenues for making your special contribution to the world. May the foundation that you have laid be ever strong. May your hearts stay open. May your words be loving and your actions support the highest good for one and all.                                

__________ and __________ you have come today to honor your commitment to each other and the path you have chosen. You have spoken the words and opened your hearts. It is with great pleasure that I declare your marriage blessed.             

You may kiss.                                                                  

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