Dear Friends, You have honored me by selecting me to perform your wedding … thank you !

          Congratulations on your decision and blessings to you both. When two souls are drawn to each other and discover a love that can last a lifetime, theirs is a sacred relationship – one to be honored and celebrated. Your wedding day is usually the only time you will ever express your feelings to one another, before your family and friends. 

Love makes the world go 'round, but marriage makes life complete.  Marriage is something most people expect to enter into at least once in their lives, and it is, for many, the biggest moments of their adult life.  For those in religions that do not share the faith of the mainstream, marriage can be a jarring clash of family, belief and tradition.

            The rise of remarriages and interfaith marriages popularized the role of traveling ministers who perform alternative ceremonies in unusual locations.  Couples of the Catholic and Jewish faiths cannot remarry within their church or synagogue, and they may find the civil ceremonies performed by judges a bit too dry for their tastes. Rev. Dabney offers a perfect option for those who want a memorable occasion that recognizes the creativity and personalization of each couple. Rev. Dabney offers many ceremonies from which to choose. Some couples just pick a ceremony, others feel they want it to be more personal and you need not stay within the guidelines of an established ceremony.                   

            You may mix and match, delete, rewrite or completely write your own ceremony.  I want you to feel comfortable with the ceremony.  It is your ceremony and it should express your feelings and sentiments. You may express individuality by writing your own vows and choosing original poetry and prose or you may wish to use some of the inspirational readings from "The Prophet" and others, which Rev. Dabney can send out to you.

            There are many ceremonies included in Rev. Dabney's packet from the most simple, to the most traditional. Though some brides and grooms at first say they wish a simple and quick ceremony, may I point out that "The Simple Wedding Ceremony" takes less then 2 minutes to perform and though initially, brides and grooms think they want simplicity, in fact, this is your wedding day, a day that will be celebrated every year and one from which a new life together is beginning, a new family is beginning and you may wish to remember more than a simple 2 minutes.  Also if you have invited witnesses, family and friends, many of these people have traveled some distance to celebrate this day with you, and a bit more of a ceremony is generally much enjoyed and appreciated by your loved ones.

            Love and the concept of marriage are remarkable similar among many traditions of the world. Most have some type of formal ceremony or celebration to mark the occasion with the bride and groom exchanging vows. This similarity lends itself well to a blending of many traditions in order to create a ceremony perfect for you. While planning their ceremonies, many couples around the world are writing their own, unique traditions. Others are making only small changes to their tradition, or none at all.

            A major stumbling block to an alternative wedding is, in some cases, the families of the bride and groom.  In other cases, the families may simply be uncomfortable with the idea of a wedding in an alternative setting.  Many solutions exist to this dilemma.  Some couples simply have the ceremony that they want and inform their families. Others use a hybrid of their tradition and the traditional Christian wedding.  Still others have a small wedding and then a large reception that includes the entire family and extended family.

            Whichever religion or ceremony you decide to follow, remember one thing about the marriage:  It's not the words spoken that make a difference, in the long run.  It is the love, action and devotion behind those words that will see a marriage through the difficult times to the happiness beyond.

Reverend Sylvia Dabney

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